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How has Genital herpes effected your life?

May 7, 2010 by  
Filed under Discussion

I just got genital herpes, and I can’t figure out how I’m
suppose to live my life. If you have genital herpes, how did it effect your life? And how do you date someone, and get the balls to tell them you have genital herpes!? I neeed answers.



6 Responses to “How has Genital herpes effected your life?”
  1. kjdela says:

    I don’t have herpes, but dated a girl that had it and we had a great relationship. It ended for other reasons and had nothing to do with her having herpes. We are still friends to this day.

    Once you get over the initial shock and you initial symptoms pass and you get on daily suppressive therapy, you will think less and less about it. Taking meds like Valtrex daily will reduce the number of outbreaks and in many cases eliminates them all together. If you don’t have sex during outbreaks or prodrome symptoms (pre-signs an outbreak is coming on), wear a condom during the non-outbreak times, the chances of transmittal is 1%.

    You don’t need to tell the first right off the bat. It is best to develop a friendship and some loving interest first before you tell them. If they decide not to continue on with the relationship, then it wasn’t meant to be.

    You can search online for local herpes groups ( and dating sites such as to meet others in your situation.

  2. Rivergirl100 says:

    My condolences on your diagnosis. I remember when I was first diagnosed. I was ashamed and afraid and angry – and I was sure that I would never be loved again. Since then, I’ve dated several men – all of whom knew about my herpes before we got sexual – and am now happily married.

    I’ll admit that the absolute hardest part of herpes is telling someone. I agree with kjdela that its best to develop a solid, non-sexual relationship first.

    In fact, you ask how it affected my life, and I would have to say that on the whole, it was actually not a bad thing for me. I “catted around” a lot when I was single. I really enjoyed being single, and had a pretty vigorous and lively sex life. Don’t get me wrong – that part of my life was a real blast. But once I got herpes, I needed to actually get to know men – and I mean REALLY get to know them – before we got sexual. It deepened the kind of relationships that I had. I needed to know and trust a man before I took him to bed – and that really improved the kind of relationships that I had.

    Would I go back and get it again – just for the learning process? No. But at the same time, I can’t say that it was a really horrible thing that happened to me.

    I know that it doesn’t seem like it now – but things will get much better. In the meantime, you have my sympathies. It’s a hard time, but you’ll get through it.

  3. Jasmine says:

    hi oh my god i am in the exact same situation and it is so horrible i cry everytime i tink about it.i feel so alone,ive been researching it loads,and basically there is no cure,and even if the warts do go you can stil hav the virus in your system,i feel like i hav aids.ive been gettin mine treated 1nce a week for the last 5 weeks and no improvement,its says on every information page that you should defo tell a new partner b4 u sleep with them,but how can u possibly do that without them lookin at you in disgust,i no if i met some1 and they told me they had warts down there and i could possibly contract it id tink 2wice b4 starting anything with them.and the worst thing is iwas out over xmas and i met some1 and we went on a date last night and as i was sittin there i was tinkin 2 myself wat am i doin how am i meant to tell this bloke,hes goin to want sex soon,what the hell am i to do.if u want to mail me do hun if u want to tlk to sum1 in the same situation as u.

  4. Amanda R says:

    98% of the time I don’t even think about it. I only experience having to tell someone I was dating once, otherwise I dated guys with herpes or guy friends who accepted it. I lucked out over the past 4 years because I got it after my man-crazed party filled years. Now I’m just consumed with work and school :( I have also done a lot of growing as a person so I am more confident when it comes to the next time I date. I’m a great woman and I have MUCH to offer someone. I believe the person I am will triumph over having hsv. What I see with many people new to herpes is that their number one focus is DATING & SEX, and too often many fall into depression for that reason alone. 1) So focus on you and being the best at your game without taking away from your self-worth. 2) You will run into the same problems dating people with herpes as you will if you didn’t have herpes. People are people.3) If you want a great partner then you have to be a great partner in return. Nothing is more of a turnoff then a person “with issues” and add hsv on top of that…get what I’m saying? I hope you find peace with yourself and live a joyful life as many have come to do

  5. Kurr Plunky says:

    had it for years, and the man i was married to for many years never contracted it. my last relationship of three years with a man who did not have it, and he never contracted it either. but, i’ve meet ppl on herpes dating web sites.

  6. FML says:

    honestly i just got diagnosed with hpv between thanks giving and christmas in 2009 and what a bad time to find out when doctors are on vacation and stuff to tell you the truth i feel the same way that you do but in a way it changed my life because now i eat healthy work out everyday sleep better i quit smoking and drink less and now im so healthy i dont have any out breaks i got checked nothing inside cervix looks good and im just taking care of my self taking it day by day what you need to do is that and take lots of vitamens just use a condom when you have sex dont have sex when you have an out break and if some one truly loves you they will be their for you through sickness and health i know its hard to believe i feel like i never will but deep down inside i know that one day that guy will come thats why you have develop a connection with a guy get to know them have them fall for you and when things get heated up just tell them the truth if they love you they will be their if not then oh well at least you know you will end up with someone who truly cares and girl if you work out your body would be so hot guys wont even care cause you are haha im sorry about this i wish i can do something for my self you and others if you ever need anyone to talk to message me im more then happy to help everyone needs someone to talk to

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